Beautiful Angel

I wanna dedicate this post to my beautiful daughter in Heaven.

I found out I was pregnant on Jan 28, 2005. It came as a big surprise because I just had a baby 3 months before! I wasn't planning on having another one for a year at least, but we took it as God's beautiful surprise and plan for us.

She was due Oct 2, 2004, right near Landon's birthday.

I didn't tell anyone in our family because I had hoped to announce the news to everyone in person in April for our family gathering. I didn't get the chance to do that with Landon. It was hard to keep my mouth zipped.


I knew it was a girl with all my heart. Something inside me told me that there was no doubt I would have a daughter. I also had a dream a few days before that I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and she looked so much like Landon. My sister told me she had a dream that I had a baby girl that looked like landon, and she was smiling and laughing. My sister didn't know I was pregnant either...

But on Feb 13, the day before Valentine's Day, I experienced bad back pains and I found blood all over my pants. A part of me knew what happend but it was pure shock. I didn't expect to lose her. The doctors confirmed it, that my hormone count was at 7, when it should be 5,000. He said that it was too early for me to be pregnant and my body wasn't ready. He said it was extremely common for women at my stage, but I wish I knew before.

It broke my heart knowing that I wouldn't meet her in October or hold her in my arms like in my dream. I hope that she didn't feel any pain or fear. I prayed to God to tell her that Mommy is so sorry, and for him to give us a second chance again someday.

My favorite name for her was Briar.. Briar Danielle.

A friend wrote a beautiful poem that I'll share with you all..

Somewhere in the pearly gates
is a beautiful baby girl,
A baby angel.
Landon’ sister and playmate.
Left before her time on the earthly ground
Needed above for her duties above.
Landon has an angel to look over him,
Kiss his boo-boos when
Mommy and Daddy aren’t around to do it.
Play with Landon as his secret playmate,
Landon has a guardian and his sister
Will watch over him.
Help him walk his first steps, pedal his bike,
Confront his fears all with his “angel” behind him.
It’s hard for Mommy and Daddy to lose a baby,
Landon will know the love,
For his sister through Mommy and Daddy.
Through the eyes of Landon, he will tell you
About his sister because of Landon,
He will see his sister and tell you,
“She is around us.”
By Patty <3>